Feminism and M/s

There have been many times when I have questioned whether or not I am a feminist. The possibility of a conflict between being a feminist and being in an M/s relationship where I am not on the left side of the slash has also come up time and time again on a website that I tend to read. While I tend to ignore most of the posts there are a few that, from time to time, make me think.

Can someone be a feminist and be in this kind of a relationship? Does submitting (in my case, to a man) mean that I am setting the cause back in some way? I think that the answers to those questions are, in order, yes, and no. I think that whether it does or not in someone's mind is affected as much by what KIND of feminism they believe in as it is their own personal relationship dynamic.

See, here's the thing. I'll start out by saying that I'm a little uncomfortable with the modern brand of feminism that I see in much of the media today. I find it a little harsh and I honestly think that there are going to be long-term problems if the pendulum doesn't swing back at least part way.

That being said, do I think women get a shit deal a LOT of the time? You bet I do.

Do I worry about how my girls are going to grow up and what kind of experiences they are going to have when they get out in the world? Abso-fucking-lutely.

I've been fortunate, for the most part. Maybe its because I've grown up in, and spent the majority of my life in, smaller towns and cities. I haven't had the experience of being groped on a subway or a bus. I have had some interesting comments sent my way (I once had a customer say that they wanted to lock me up in a cage although, given their age, I think trying to do anything to me once they let me out would have led to a heart attack but....). I know that women in other countries and even in larger urban areas have a hell of a hard time.

I guess that my worry is that the pendulum has swung too far. I think that men are being denied many of the things that make them men. I think that the rampant man-hating that I have seen in some areas of the interwebz has made men push back and it's putting the cause back years if not decades. Why is it that women feel that in order to climb higher in the world that they need to do so on the backs of men?

Basically, I don't consider myself a feminist and therefore, I see no issue with me being in this kind of dynamic. Master believes very strongly that it is important for my girls to grow up and be strong, independent, take no shit kind of people. One of the things I love about him is that he believes that while I should submit to him, other women are under no obligation whatsoever to do so.

The world is what it is. I guess I'm just tired of people using a cause or belief system (no matter what that belief is) to make life shit for other people. I hope it gets better but I worry that if things don't get a bit more moderate  soon that it won't matter in the end.