Collaring VS Marriage

One topic that seems to come up regularly on discussion groups is collaring vs marriage. Usually, debates tend to focus on the significance of one versus the other. Some individuals feel collaring is more significant than marriage while others feel the opposite way.

Collaring is an act that can have as much or as little meaning as those involved want it to. Some individuals have collaring ceremonies that include friends, family members and members of their respective kink communities. They can be very beautiful and meaningful to everyone involved. Others tend to have very low-key events that may only involve the person who is placing the collar and the person who will be wearing it.

Master and I had that second type of ceremony (if it could even be called a ceremony). We simply ordered it, it arrived and he put it on my neck while we were sitting on my couch. We aren't open about our dynamic to our friends and family so we didn't feel that we could involve them. We aren't active in our local kink community and the kinky friends that we have live hours away.

For us, the collar was a symbol that we were formalizing the kink side of our relationship and that I was continuing to formally give up control over different areas of my life. That's an aspect that is still developing but that was a definite and formal starting point to the whole process. The collar was a physical and tangible reminder for me that Master owned me and it made me feel his presence even when we were not together.

We later decided to get married. There was zero pressure from family to do so and we were quite happy living together. So why marry? For us, it was the feeling that marriage is a form of legal ownership. It was a way to announce the permanence of our relationship in a way that our friends and family could witness and understand. I promised to love, honour and obey my husband in front of our friends and family. The wedding rings are a physical and tangible reminder to me and to the rest of society that I belong to someone.

For Master and I, both collaring and marriage are significant. For us, both facets of the relationship are equally significant for different reasons. As with any relationship, the meaningfulness or significance really is determined by the people in said relationship.