What's In a Title?

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet"        

-Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

I've seen a debate on FetLife that keeps popping up in various forums about titles. I've even participated in one thread. The debate is basically whether or not a slave is still a slave if they go by any other title publicly. One individual seems to feel that if my Master isn't running around calling me his slave in front of everyone that I am not his slave. That if I am married to Master I am a wife and not a slave.

Well, as another famous phrase goes, "opinions are like assholes, everyone has one". 

I am Master's slave first. Our marriage, as wonderful and full of happy feels as it is, was a legal thing rather than a romantic thing, as strange as that sounds. Master couldn't own me legally as property, and so we decided that the closest thing we could get was legal marriage. Plus, with his being in the line of work he is in, a marriage certificate makes it easier for me to move with him, to get medical benefits and to be taken care of if something were to happen to Master.

We don't have a large number of lifestyle friends. The vanilla friends we do have would not understand the kind of relationship we have and they also wouldn't see it in a positive light. There have been raised eyebrows when I have asked for permission to have another drink at dinner and more raised eyebrows when I promised to obey in our wedding vows.

It's true that I have things that a slave in the traditional, historical sense do not have. Some of those things are basic legal rights. Some of them are because my Master allows them and, because I am happiest and most fulfilled as a slave, I accept.

For example, I have a job because we need me to work in order to afford the lifestyle Master enjoys. He has the agreed-on right to tell me to quit my job or find a different one. He also has the agreed-to right to tell me how to spend my money.

Legally, I have the right to vote (but do so as Master directs). Legally, I have the right to own property, have a bank account, and legally be considered a person. Strangely, in Canada, that wasn't always a thing and it still isn't totally a thing in every country in the world. 

Here's the thing: I wish it was acceptable for Master and I to live the way we do and be open about it with our friends. I would love to be called his slave in public and to be able to call him Master. But it is MORE important for me to know that my kidlets, as girls, will not have any of their legal rights or privileges taken away from them because of their gender simply because some women (like me) enjoy having someone else wield the authority in the home. 

So if I am called Master's wife when he introduces me to friends and coworkers, I can accept that. Master and I aren't so insecure that we need constant reminders of our roles.