Leaving

I've spent a lot of time trying to mentally prepare for when Master has to go away. Since he's in the military, there have been plenty of times when he's been away for shorter periods: a few weeks here, a month there. I know that there are going to be longer chunks of time that I am going to have to deal with his absence and have been trying to develop coping mechanisms and positive thought patterns that I can put in place when he does have to leave for longer periods of time. 

Well, tomorrow is the day. Master has to go away for work. Technically, he's going Monday morning but it's so early in the morning that it might as well be tomorrow. There is always the chance that his departure will be delayed but even if it is it will only be for 24 hours or so. He's been packing today in between doing other things that need to get done around the house and watching him put his gear together is hard.

It's odd.... at a time when I am about to be without him for months, I find it hard not to snap or be lippy. I'm not sure why. The last thing I want to do is to end up arguing while we only have a few more hours together but I found myself almost starting an argument today. We were shaving our dog (something that needed to be done). He's a big guy and, like most big dogs, he's a total suck. I was trying to clip him and he kept wiggling. Master was holding him for me and I was getting frustrated. I ended up snapping at him and it could have very easily started an argument.

It didn't though. I'm lucky. Master would have been well within his rights to punish me but he didn't. Instead, things very quickly went back to normal: me keeping a civil tongue in my head and him with an even temper. His even temper is one of the things that I love and appreciate most about him. It's not something I have had the pleasure of enjoying in the past and it wasn't the best situation to be in.

So, things are pretty well back to normal except for the looming issue of Master's absence. Rationally, I know that I can handle whatever life throws at me. Rationally, I know that I will be able to contact Master (at least intermittently) and that I can adapt to whatever is going to come my way.

Right now, though, rational just isn't helping though.