Gone

Well, today was the day. Master had me give him a ride in at 1:15 or so this morning. Yesterday was pretty rough. Even though I've been through this before and will go through it again (and again, and again) it's never easy. Every separation is different because there are always different things going on when he goes.

There were a few things that were hard to deal with. It hurt when he took off his wedding ring and the key to my collar that he always wears around his neck. The rational adult in me understands why they had to come off and why it's better for him to not have them on when he is away but it was still painful. Another was watching him walk in the building and realize that he wouldn't be coming home with me for almost three months.

The first day after he leaves is always hard. I took today off work for a number of reasons but one was so that I could pretty much hide inside my home and not have to deal with the public except in a limited way. I just really, really cannot people much today. I have a meeting to go to and I love that the kidlets will be home this evening but dealing with the public in a retail capacity just isn't doable at the moment.

One thing that was interesting to watch is how the animals dealt with Master leaving. We have a couple of dogs. Big dog knew something was up. Little dog, not so much although she's small enough that I think she can only handle one or two thoughts at a time and those are usually taken up with breathing and walking. Big dog took over Master's spot in bed Saturday night and when Master told him to move, big dog just stared at him like "what?! My spot now".

It's hard switching from slave mode to running the house. Master and I have been working towards making me dependent on him. While we can't do that completely (mainly because of stuff like this), he does make a lot of the decisions. Something as simple as picking what we were going to have for supper tonight was actually strange and a little scary (pork tenderloin, btw, for anyone who cares about that sort of thing).

One thing that is hard to deal with is the uncertainty. Currently, the things we DON'T know include how long he will be gone (we're fairly sure he will be home beginning-mid June) or how easy it will be for me to get in touch with him while he's away. It's only two main things but they're pretty big things. They also give rise to a bunch of other "don't knows". There are events and things going on that generally involve planning ahead and it's hard to tell whether or not he'll be able to go with me. Not a big deal but it does add to the stress I'm feeling.

Now I'm just waiting to hear that he's made it to his destination safe and sound. It'll be a few hours before I hear from him so I'm going to try and focus a little and actually get things done around the house.