Surface Vs Substance

Recently, Master attended a series of talks at work. He is in the military and they have these information sessions on a regular basis. One talk was about recognizing the signs that you may be in an abusive relationship and what your options are as far as getting out. I think that it is good that they have talks like this. Not everyone is able to recognize when their partner is being abusive since the abuse process often involves brainwashing of a sort and increasing levels of control that may make it difficult for the abused partner to get out if, and when, they want to leave.

What I find interesting is that some of the signs of abuse are actually benchmarks that Master and I are working towards. One main example of this is financial control. Eventually, we want to structure the relationship in such a way that I own as little as possible and that Master has control over the money. At the moment we are unable to live that way as Master has to be away with work on a regular basis. Me not being able to access money would be very VERY bad at this point. We need my name to be on bills, we need me to be able to access money s that I can continue to manage things while he is away.

Master isn't abusive. He may be controlling (because that makes both of us feel happy and fulfilled) but he isn't abusive. He encourages me to develop friendships and to maintain ties to my family and to his. He is not isolating me from the people in my life. He constantly praises me and talks me up rather than belittling or insulting me. I know that he values my opinion on things and frequently takes my advice. I never worry about being hit (in anger) and I know that my concerns are listened to and taken seriously.

It's interesting that if you were to take the rules of my relationship at face value and didn't take the time to learn more about what happens on a regular basis that it would look as though this isn't a healthy, happy life but once you crack the surface and get past things, you'd see that this is healthy, full of love, and very, very rewarding for everyone involved.