Looking Forward to the Weekend

Master has been away since Sunday and is due to come home today. I am really looking forward to seeing him again. This week has seemed much more difficult than past weeks have. I don't know if I was emotional because I had a birthday that I couldn't celebrate with him or something else but this week  I really struggled with some jealousy issues that I normally don't have problems with. I know that my issues were just that- mine, and because of that I tried very hard not to be disobedient or overly feisty. I managed (mostly) but have a spanking coming soon that is likely not going to be pleasant in the least.

I have no doubt that Master is faithful to me. He does have the right to sleep with other people but it would be hard to accept if he did. I know that for him it takes more than a pretty face and a hot body to get him going and he has made it very clear to me that he finds me attractive in a number of ways that are not just related to my appearance. Usually I am very secure and confident.

There has been a woman that Master has been working with while he is away and he has told me that he finds her very attractive. I was fine with this for the most part but this week I felt jealous. I know why, and none of those things have to do with Master himself. As I said, its me, not him. My previous owner was unfaithful to me on a continuing basis. He told me, in his own way, that he was cheating on me but always phrased it as "someone on his course" was cheating instead of him. He never felt the urge to be particularly monogamous. So, if it had been my previous owner, him talking about her pretty much would have meant that he was fucking her.

That being said, this is now and that was then. I have a fair bit of conditioning tucked away in my noggin that is still there from before. It causes me to react to thing in specific ways and not all of those ways are desirable ones. Because I know this I can verbalize it to Master and we tend to work through things in a productive way. It's one of the reasons why I love him so much and why we are such a good fit for one another. 

The best part of this weekend is that Master will be home for FOUR days which is about double what he normally has. The worst part is that after this weekend he will be gone for longer than four or five days. I will be able to find out more about his schedule but I know that the next little while is likely going to be really, really hard.