More Rules or More Consistency?

A day or so ago, an incident took place that made me think and it started a good discussion between Master and I.

We had been texting back and forth about shoes. Now, anyone who knows me knows I love shoes. Other than chocolate, they are pretty much my favorite non-living thing in the universe. I work at a mall and had been killing time on my lunch by window shopping. On this particular day, I had wandered into Payless and had noticed pretty much a bazillion pairs that I wanted to bring home with me.

I didn't buy any. I was broke. Basically, though, at one point I took a message from B as him putting his foot down about shoe purchases. I was happy and was a little sad when I found out he was just doing a bit of teasing. I replied with "Booo" and Master wanted to know why I was booing the joke. It took me a little while to realize why I was sad about the exchange.

Why was I sad?

It wasn't that I wanted more rules. B and I both feel that having rules just for the sake of having them is not the right option for us. We don't want to have to remember a bunch of arbitrary stuff just because we feel we should have rules. So it wasn't that. Not exactly.

 Master and I tend to be very low protocol (almost "no protocol") in a lot of ways. There are a number of reasons for this. The main one is simply that there are kidlets around on a regular basis. Kidlets that would notice and ask questions about why I am calling him "Master" instead of his name. My kneeling isn't really anything that we can suddenly start. And since this dynamic came about when the kidlets were a bit older, they would notice if things changed. Seriously. They notice if I tweeze my eyebrows or paint my toenails through boots and three pairs of socks. So the big things, they would definitely notice.

After some soul searching, I figured it out. I think. I love the fact that B is a nice guy. He really is. To him, having a happy household where things run smoothly and we can have time to relax and have fun is more important than him sitting back and waving his domly hand at me so I can run and fetch. I love that about him.

But sometimes, sometimes, when he has been extra amazing for an extended period of time I get feeling a little lost.

I start worrying that we may be losing the M/s side of things and that scares me. I start craving control again and I think that THAT was why there was the boo. All is well, we talked it through and are adjusting some of the ways we do things. Maybe this is why I love B so much. The fact that he wants to keep our relationship as a living, growing entity that we adjust to meet the way things really are, while keeping them as close to what we want them to be as possible.