What is BDSM?

Since its going to be coming up on a regular basis, it might be helpful to learn a bit more about what BDSM is.

Basically, the term refers to a collection of different practices and activities. One common meaning is as follows:

• Bondage
• Dominance
• Sadism
• Masochism

For some individuals, the term may also include references to Bondage and Discipline (B&D),  or Dominance and Submission (D&S).

Sadists are individuals who enjoy causing discomfort or suffering in their partner. Masochists are individuals who gain pleasure or enjoyment from being made to suffer. This can often take the form of physical pain and discomfort but some individuals enjoy emotional or mental discomfort or suffering. Keep in mind that this is all supposed to be consensual. That is, a Sadist creates pain or suffering with someone who AGREES to the arrangement. When it ISN'T consensual, that's when it slips over into abuse and its not a good thing when that happens. 

In our case, the M and s referred to in the title refers to Master and slave rather than masochism and sadism. B is dominant and gets satisfaction from making the rules and guiding our relationship in the direction he wants it to go, whereas I submit to him and am quite happy following his lead. For US though, we prefer the term Master for B, and slave for myself.

Remember that a LOT of this stuff is what makes us happy MENTALLY and when the brain is happy, the body responds. So for US, while a term is just a term, we prefer to interact on the basis that he owns me and that I am B's property.

One thing to keep in mind is that how people practice this lifestyle and structure their relationships is going to vary a LOT. It's important to keep in mind that this is NOT a "one-size-fits-all" situation and what may work well for one person may not for someone else.